If you’ve ever experienced a little charity fatigue, I feel for you. I live in an activist neighborhood, where most days a Savvy Girl can’t take three steps without being pressed for a signature, a membership, a donation, or occasionally, a kidney. You want to help, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. Yesterday I witnessed something that is still washing over me.
A woman in a wheelchair has been on the same corner for years, asking for money. “Pam” has had a hard life; struggle, rejection and hunger is etched in her face, making her look far older than her late forties. She’s pleasant and chatty, and as befits her survival, she’s creative. Pam invents problems on the spot: a temporary housing issue that would be resolved if she could just make another twenty dollars today, or a broken tooth that would be fine with that ten-dollar paste that will hold it in place. Sometimes, it’s true, often it’s not; I know her well. But her basic need is authentic.
So I was a little taken aback when I heard a man yell at her: “I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you! All these years and nothing changes! I give you money again and again—you’re still here! You’ll be here forever!” I felt for them both: his exasperation and her dignity. She confided: “I get it: not everyone can give. But man, don’t take away my hope for climbing out of this rut one day.”
How do you cope with people who beg? How do you give discreetly, or decline gracefully?
Recent Comments